


Defining fate.

by pararanch



Category: Thai Actor RPF, เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack, Fate, Fate & Destiny, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, also, it's supposed to be written in one long shot lol, sorry that gulf is a brat lol, sorry that i had to write it as a chaptered story, time capsule
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28633422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pararanch/pseuds/pararanch
Summary: Gulf was something Mew never encountered before. He was cheeky, mischievous, unpredictable — and Mew was keen to discover it, albeit it was started when he was pushed around by the younger one.But, one thing for sure, he wanted to help Gulf to recover from his heartbreak.Loosely based from My Sassy Girl (2001)
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 8
Kudos: 79





	1. When they first met.

“What if.... we never met?” Gulf suddenly asked in between of slurping his iced tea.

“Yeah?” Mew looked up from his takeaway lunch.

“What if you've never taking those subway at those specific time at the day, and you never found me?” The younger boy darted his eyes to Mew’s — _definitely_ testing him.

“Uh....,” Mew looked taken a back. He knew. He knew if he answered the wrong answer — chances are, Gulf would humiliate him, again. The younger one would ended up feeling displeased, and he had to make up with him in another weird scenario of him.

Gulf leaned his back at his chair. He didn’t ate anything, he said he already ate at his campus before he come over to Chula. Only busily staring at Mew while slurping his iced tea with annoying, ominous loud voice with his heart shape lips.

“Well?” He tried again, dropped the cup of iced tea on the table with a thud and leaned back to crossed his arms with a heavy judgement, raising his left eyebrows.

Mew pondered a bit. When they met each other _waaaay_ back, probably a year ago, he found the younger one to be super annoying. Like, _annoying,_ annoying. Yes, he was pretty, with luscious lips and beautiful bambi eyes, yes, _but_ seriously — Mew hate drunkards the most. And that was exactly the situation when he was meeting the younger one — which, for some weird reason or another, ended up claiming Mew as his boyfriend. Being a straight A student from the day of his childhood, with a well planned life, though he was also good at making friendship and connections, he definitely wasn’t the nerd type, and he definitely never thought that he would ended up with someone like the slightly tanned boy. Mew was more like the hot smart ass guy that everyone literally lusted over, those types of the handsome head council from that shoujo manga full of roses and sparkling eyes — _Boom’s and Singto’s words, not him_. So definitely, he could find someone that probably better than Gulf. Probably not as pretty, but at least with a better attitude. Or smarter. Maybe. He didn’t said it out loud, afraid that he would be kicked out by the younger and obviously taller one by a bit.

“Hey, are you planning to answer me or not, Phi?” He tsked annoyedly. Given with his nonchalant attitude, at least he had the decency to call him politely. Though Mew wouldn’t be surprised if one day he would just called him by his name out loud in public place simply to annoy him.

“Well.... I don’t know. I have the gut feeling that even if we’ve never met each other back then, we would met in different setting.... like... a twisted way of fate,” Mew sighed. Being a hopeless romantic from his childhood, he certainly never expect that he would have this weird relationship. In ideal setting, he would love to poured his lovers with gifts and kisses, like that cute relationship in that romantic comedy — not this dictatorous relationship when he ended up surrender with any of the younger one’s weird wishes so he wouldn’t be annoyed and sulked and ended up embarrassed Mew publicly with his tantrum.

“Oh! I forgot how you’re those kinds of people who would believe in fate, _how cute,”_ Gulf rested his chin on his palm with a mocking tone. Mew hated that Gulf looked utterly cute even with his mischievous smile.

“Well, you know, sometimes God planned our life with each of different scenarios, like script A, B, C, or D, and while we might took different way, we would still end up with the same finish line. Like, for example, I might didn’t accepted to this campus for my bachelor degree, but I still would trying hard to achieve my dream job, even if it would be more difficult in a way.”

“I hate it when you speak like those smart ass. I knew that you’re on top of your class, having perfect GPA each semester, teacher’s pet and all that, but could you please shut up on boasting how blessed you are with your brain?” Gulf muttered under his breath, and instead of being annoyed with the younger one’s attitude, Mew just surrender and gave in because he knew — he _knew_ that Gulf would ended up making a scene here if he didn’t gave in.

“Nong, what I mean is —,”

“Don’t ‘Nong’ me,” He snapped, making Mew gulped down through his dry throat.

“Gulf, baby, what I meant is... there is a possibility that we would ended up meeting each other in different setting. Maybe not in the subway, maybe through out campus’s events... maybe through your friends.... I don’t know... But we would definitely still meeting each other,” Mew answered patiently.

“What if you ended up went to your blind date that was set up by your aunty and went out with God-knows-who?” He pouted his mouth and frowned so hard Mew ended up smoothing it down with his thumbs.

“Don’t think too much, she set me up a couple of times already and no one really interest me,” The older one shrugged easily.

“So, I’m interesting to you?”

“Well... you could say that....” Mew raised both of his eyebrows while continue to finishing his food.

He couldn’t say it out loud, though, the fact that — _it was more like, Gulf was forcing himself into his way._

It was started when Mew decided to bailed on his promise to go to the blind date that his aunt already set up for him. He was just simply tired of his family nagging on meeting the right person for him. Mew was always been a firm believer that you’re the one that should be responsible with your own love life. Especially with his hopeless romantic side, of course he always believe in fate, _that_ spark, something that he consider wouldn’t be achievable in fabricated meeting such as blind date.

Therefore, instead of going to restaurant where his aunt asked him to went to, he instead went to book store all day and finished up some comic books and novels that he already eyeing for in a while but barely had any time to read it because of busy campus life. He ended up purchasing the latest copy of Attack on a Titan and One Piece to complete his collection back at home. He decided to took the last train home to avoid his mom because she must be already sleeping at this time, and he just sighed after he went inside the subway train because there were no empty seats left. Everyone must be running to get the last train or else, they have to take expensive taxi to go back home.

 _That_ was when he saw him. Standing up sleepily and leaning towards the other side of the door. In all honesty, Mew would consider that stranger pretty from the first glance. Like, he was having such a fluidity where you could consider him to be pretty and handsome at the same time. He wouldn’t be surprise if he could be cute at some point when he talk. However, even if he would consider that tall stranger his type physically, he hated drunkards the most. Like, _hate,_ hate. What is the point of being drunk until you humiliate yourself in public? You should have known your limit. If you couldn’t drink much and still have to taking public transportation on your own — then don’t took a drink on the first place.

After a long second, it feels like the guy felt Mew’s judging stare, he slowly opened his eyes and searching. They locked eyes for a long minute before Mew shrugged and avoided his glances to play with his phone. Then, it happened. Suddenly the train halted a bit, and the tall stranger freaking throwing up at the elder that took a seat at the priority seat, beside where he stood up. All of the people inside the train were screaming disgustedly and busy whispering at the scene in front of them, _“Where is his friend or girlfriend??? Why they are not looking out for him???”_ until he stopped throwing up and leaned back to locked his eyes at Mew’s and reached out his hand weakly at Mew’s direction to said, “Baby, help me...” and freaking passed out right at the train's floor. Leaving other people’s stare move from the other stranger to him.

Mew could only gulped down bitterly, “I— I don’t know him, really—“

_“You’re his boyfriend!!!”  
_  
_“He called you baby!!!”  
_  
_“Don’t make excuses and just clean up the mess that he made here!!!!”_

Mew wanted to cry. He _really,_ really, wanted to cry. He didn’t signed up for this, but yet, he was the one who had to cleaned up the mess that someone he didn’t even know made. Is this how God repaid how he bailed on his promises with his aunty?

He quietly apologize to all of the people in the train, particularly the elder that he threw up to, and cleaned up the mess that the pretty boy made earlier with his jacket (it was a branded one, but alas, Mew will throw it out later). And when he awkwardly offered if the elder wanted to have laundry fee because his entire clothes were messed up with the pretty boy’s entire stomach, suddenly, the pretty boy made another sound and freaking threw up again to the elder’s way. Didn’t dare to look at the elder’s way, Mew could only heard he screamed, _“GET OUT, YOU AND YOUR FAEN!!!!”_ once the subway stopped at some random station.

He silently dragged the pretty boy’s body out of the train and plopped him down on the empty bench in the station. After disgustedly throwing out his jacket and felt that he still could feel the remnants of disgusting puke on his shirt, he decided that he will be calling a taxi right away after he get out of the station since there will be no train left at this hour. He glanced at the other boy who could sleep peacefully as if he wasn’t making a mess earlier and sighed heavily. Mew already took care of him enough. He was a grown up anyway, he definitely could take care of himself later. The station’s security or staffs would find him later, anyway.

Mew took a last glance before he went out of the station, tapping his subway card, and scrolling to the taxi app at his phone. As he clicked order after he filled his address and wait for the taxi to come, he suddenly took another sighed. Mew was a worrier and overthinker by nature. What if a pickpocket or thief took advantage of the pretty boy? What if some criminals would find him earlier than the station’s security? Mew would be scarred for life if he would find the next day’s newspaper to be filled with an accident or a case of a murder in the station. Mew silently canceled his taxi order rightaway and went back inside to picked up the pretty boy who still sleeping peacefully at the bench where Mew left him. This boy— really.... _where is his friends???_

“Hey,” Mew nudged his side to wake him up to no avail. “Hey, could you please wake up? You’re freaking taller than me. Hey!!!” He rolled his eyes as he dragged the boy outside the station. He silently think where to brought the other guy. To his house? _No—_ his mom would definitely asked. Should he checked for the pretty boy’s wallet to search for his ID for his address? As he excuses to the other man silently even if he was still deep on his slumber, Mew finally found his dead phone and his wallet that funnily enough, didn’t have ID or his driving license. Seriously, though? Who would left their house without their ID?????

Mew mindlessly dragged down the other boy’s body with aimless destination because he never been through this area. It was so unfamiliar, to the point where he still didn’t have any idea even if he googled it. He didn’t know if he should be glad or laughed at the irony when he finally found the colourful alleys of motels after 15 minutes of mindlessly walking. This guy would be fine if Mew would left him in motel, isn’t it? At least he didn’t left him in empty roads or station. At least he would be woken up safely, right?

He finally decided to booked a room at the less sketchy motel and after he made a payment (wow, he never thought that he would be spending 1000 baht in a flash for a stranger), he laughed bitterly when he found out that the motel was so freaking old school it didn’t have any elevator. He took a deep sigh and piggy back ride the other boy who probably weighed the same as him (God knows if his back and waist would be sore by the next day). As he let the other boy rested up at the old bed (well, at least it was way comfortable rather than the cold bench at the station), Mew opened his phone to booked another taxi to his house. After a fifteen minutes or so, thinking that his taxi probably already come, he startled when the receptionist that he met earlier brought two polices with him, accusing him that he wanted to rape and make a murder scene in this room. Mew’s mouth went agape when the police didn’t care nor believe anything that come out of his mouth and arrested him to the police station without any care.

And so, he ended up spent his night at the cell alongside of other criminals until they finally released him in the morning. He arrived at his home not without endless train of questions from his mom because he bailed on his aunty yesterday, and he only come to the house at early morning, without the expensive jacket that his mom totally remembered that he wore yesterday.

To say that Mew despise the fact that he received the unwanted message by the next day was an understatement.

**To: you**  
Hello, is it you that brought me to the motel yesterday?  
The receptionist gave your number to me.  
  


Mew rolled his eyes and decided to ignore the message entirely, and let his brain reset that yesterday never happened, until his phone buzzed again.

**To: you**  
I will wait for you at the Siam Station at 7pm tonight.  
Don’t bail or I will report you to the police.  
I got your ID’s copy from the motel’s receptionist.

Okay, let’s just stop counting the sigh because it seems like Mew will have countless of it from now on.

After they met each other at exit near Siam Square (not with the other one’s head to toe stare to Mew when he introduce himself), they finally decided to took a seat at one of famous chain coffee shop at Siam Square.

“What do you want?” He asked Mew uninterestedly when they reached the cashier.

“Uh, I will get the latte.....”

“Two vanilla frappe without any espresso shot, please,” The pretty boy finished for him. “I don’t like coffee,” He explained briefly. “I will wait for you at the table,” He turned away to search for an empty table for two, leaving Mew dumbfounded when the staff asked him to made the payment. He waited for their order to come to lengthen the time that would be spent to talking to the other boy. He thought that definitely needed all of the patience in the world. As he waited for the order, he took a glance at the pretty boy who already took a seat at far corner in the room. Well, he definitely looked better awake and sober. He was totally Mew’s type physically. However, after all of those mishaps over mishaps happened yesterday, he decided that _nah,_ he won’t bother to took his time to put so much care to him, let alone to pursue him. His attitude wasn’t something that he would like to dealt with daily. It was too tiring and time consuming. Mew liked cute person with a cute and lovely attitude, not this—

“Hey! The order already out a while ago! Why are you waiting for?” The pretty boy screamed from the far corner of the room.

Trying to hide his embarrassment from the other customers who peeked trough them curiously, he took the two overly sweet drinks and made a bee line to the reserved seat, with a heavy stare from the other. When Mew took a seat and glanced up at him, he still remained unwavered. He tilted his head with a flat expression after a long second and asked Mew coldly, “Why you brought me to the motel last night?”

“I—,“ Mew sighed. He wasn’t someone that easily got intimidated but this person’s tone always left no room for him to made his presence more powerful, “You was passed out at the train last night after throwing up all over the place.”

“Me? Throwing up at the train? Why I don't believe that?” He raised his voice with a deep frown between his eyes.

“I don’t want to believe it, either,” Mew mumbled more to himself.

“What?”

“Well, yeah, and then you speak _‘Baby, please help’_ before you passed out to my way, and the entire train thought that I was your boyfriend and pushed me to take care of you.”

“What?” He asked in disbelief. “I’ve never remember that. There is no way I will call you 'baby' I mean who the hell are you?”

“Well, that happened,” Mew simply laid down the truth. "It's not like I wanted to be call 'baby' by you either," He muttered quietly. He was awkwardly nervous even if he wasn’t in the wrong, and he decided to took his overly sweet drink and drink it quietly.

“And so, why I suddenly woke up in the motel?”

“Initially I was trying to wake you up, but you were way too deep in your sleep. Also, your phone were out of battery, and you didn’t brought your ID, therefore I have no choice but to brought you to the nearest motel because I couldn’t left you alone at the station....,” Mew tried to explained patiently.

The other guy just hummed quietly as he still looked at Mew skeptically. He slowly swirl his drink without actually drinking it and put it down again. “And so? Why you were arrested by the police?”

“That was a fake report. The receptionist thought that I am some criminals that wanted to make some advantage for you, in fact I was just waiting for my taxi order....”

The other boy just nodded slowly, still not leaving his eyes from Mew. He pushed back his fluffy dark hair from his eyes and leaned back at his seat, “Yesterday was one year anniversary since I was breaking up with my ex.”

Mew blinked. He either didn’t expect that the other guy would spilled something personal about himself, nor the fact that someone actually counted the anniversary of their broke up day. Well, he must loved his ex so dearly, which was explained the state that he was in last night.

“But, I’m not looking for a replacement yet, thank you very much,” He shrugged easily.

Mew scoffed, how could someone be that confident as if he decided that every person that laid eyes on him actually interested with him. Well, Mew knew that he was totally his type — _again,_ physically — but again, not that he actually wanted to date him. Because, seriously?!

The other boy abruptly stood up and looked at Mew lowly, “Okay, I’m going back home. Thank you for your treat, Mew Suppasit.” He suddenly left the coffee shop alongside with his leather duffle bag, leaving Mew left dumbfounded with both of their overly sweet drinks, with the pretty boy's drink still remained full, untouched, and went slightly liquidy as the ice already slowly melted down inside the plastic cup.

To say that it was the two most bizarre and random days throughout his life, it was such an understatement. It was the epitome of weirdness. Mew wondered what kind of sin he was doing in the past life, so that he ended up having a couple of totally tiring days without making any sense in the world. He might need having to visit the temple and making merits more often. Maybe.

Then, after a peaceful week, he almost forget that some bizarre accident actually happened at the past week, suddenly he came to Mew’s class. Mew was focusing on his Advanced Statistic class with his prescribed glasses that he usually only use at class before he suddenly heard his voice in between the time where he taking notes from the lectures.

“What is so interesting from these numbers....”

Mew slowly glanced at his side, eyes widening in surprise. First, no one took a seat beside him before because the class was freaking 8am in the morning and his friends skipped it for more time to sleep at their dorms. Second, what is he actually doing here???

“No wonder you have such a thick glasses....” He easily took out Mew’s glasses and wore it on the bridge of his nose, “Aow, I can’t see anything.”

Sometimes Mew hated the fact that even through his bad eyesight, he still could see how the other boy looked cute wearing his glasses. Mew decided to ignore him and trying to focus at the lecturer even through his blurred eyesight. He just glad that the class today was held in a big seminar class, so that the lecturer couldn’t see that there was an unexpected guest here today.

After the class were finished about an hour later, the pretty boy followed him closely as if they already familiar with each other, “I’m hungry, I want pad krapow.”

Still deciding to ignored him, Mew just walking to the library’s way until the other boy dragged him to the cafetaria’s way easily, given with his taller built. After he made sure that Mew made the payment for his pad krapow and mineral water, he insisted that Mew also ordered the same, which Mew quietly declined because he already brought his own lunch and water.

“What are you doing here? You’re not a student here, right?” Mew finally asked after he was staring at the other boy finishing his lunch.

“Why? Do you think I’m not smart enough to go here?” The other boy smirked at him.

“It’s not what I’m trying to say—“

“I’m not though, you’re right. I went to KMUTT,” He raised his eyebrows and decided to continue to eat his lunch. “I didn’t get accepted when I applied here back then. Therefore, you’re right again.”

Mew gulped down guiltily, “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant that.”

“It’s okay, it’s not like I’m solely depending on specific university to reach my dream job,” He shrugged lightly.

“So, what are you doing here?” Mew asked again. “Do you want to reapply again this year? I could take you to the faculty that you wanted to apply....”

“Nah, I just want to see you,” He said lightly before he finished off his lunch, which made Mew’s mouth went agape.

_What?_

“When is your next class?”

“Well, that was my only class today, but I still have to go to the student’s body meeting...”

“Skip it.”

“Huh?”

“Skip it, the meeting,” He put down his cutleries with a thud. “Take me to a place that I want to visit for a while.”

“What?” Mew asked confusedly at the command. Mew was no one’s servant. Much less this person’s servant.

“What are you waiting for?” The pretty boy stand up abruptly and challenged him. “Let’s go.”

Mew was always been a city person. He likes nature as much as he deeply care about environment, it was just, if he had to choose a place to be spent for his free time, he would prefer city rather than greeneries and mountains. Therefore, he was surprised that within one hour drive from Bangkok, they could find a hill filled with grass that grew prettily like a carpet and a huge tree on top of it. He was in awe when they reached the top because they could see the entire city of Bangkok from here. It was always nice to see something so familiar from different angle, especially from way up high.

“It’s sort of my secret place,” The other boy said suddenly after they took a seat below the tree. “After I broke up with my ex, I always come here almost everyday.”

“Was this place 'your place' with your ex? The place where you share memories together or something?” Mew asked plainly. Not so much because he was curious, he was just wondering about this certain ex. He or she was probably extra special for him until he had such a hard time to moving on even after a year.

“Nah, my ex never knew about this place,” He leaned his back to rest his body at the grass. “I found it randomly when I mindlessly walking trying to move on from my broken heart back then.”

Mew looked at him worriedly, “You should stop that mindlessly walking on your own, at least bring your friend... you could’ve get hurt or get loss, you know, if you always on your own.” Mew couldn’t imagine what would be happening if he didn’t took that last train. Well, maybe he still could live his life normally, but he didn’t dare to think what could be happening to the other guy.

He turned to him and looked at Mew’s eyes deeply, “Do you want to?”

“I’m not your friend, I didn’t even know your name,” Mew gulped down, he didn’t want to be sucked into that deep brown orbs.

“I’m Gulf,” He offered his hand to Mew for the first time, Mew couldn’t help but reach out his hand to shake Gulf’s in order to be polite.

“Hi, Gulf,” Mew tested the pretty boy’s name on his tongue. Well, it didn’t seem to be weird. “I’m Mew,” Mew replied lamely.

“I know, you already introduced yourself when we first met, I also have a copy of your ID,” Gulf chuckled. Mew decided that the sound of his soft laughter also sounds nice. “I also know the fact that you’re slightly older than me.”

“Oh?” Mew was slightly surprised because he thought they were about the same age.

“Should I call you ‘Phi’ from now on?” Gulf asked cheekily.

“Do you want to?” Knowing that the younger one tended to have sudden outburst here and there, he didn’t surprised if he didn’t want to.

“I want to, can I?” He stared at Mew with his bambi eyes innocently, catching Mew off guard.

“Uh, sure...” Mew blinked confusedly.

“So, Mew, do you want to accompany me whenever I took my mindless walk?” He suddenly smiled so sweetly, Mew didn’t know what to expect next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, happy (late) new year!!! This was something that suddenly slipped through my mind when I rewatched my fav movie for the nth time during the holiday and I figure that eh it would be worked out for MewGulf too 👀👀
> 
> Hehe I hope you will love it as much as I do 💗🥺
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated ☺️💗


	2. The Dating Phase and Absences.

Apparently, following the pretty boy with his aimless walking weren’t so 'aimless' either. Most of the days, he had some weird and bizarre wish list to visit the farthest part of the city or to having weird cravings of food that could only bought in specific area within specific time. Like, one day he wanted to have that famous Jay Fai Crab Omelette during midnight where it was _very_ obvious that they couldn’t come in a whim to that place because they need to make reservation at least one month prior to their visit. Or at some days, he would asked Mew to accompany him to his father’s hometown to visit his favorite zoo during his childhood days at 5am. And when he couldn’t get what he wanted, he would definitely make a scene so that everyone’s eyes would turned into them. Mew thought that he already at his limit to went through public humiliation for his entire life.

They usually ended up resorted to drinking at the younger one’s favorite pub after Mew successfully _ngor_ Gulf after the umpteenth tries whenever he was sulking every time he didn’t get what he wanted. Even though, _sadly_ , it wasn’t worked that well either, because right after his second shot, he would started to went through his moral police mode. He suddenly screening through the entire pub and went to the table with old guy who looked like he was hiring some underage prostitutes and Gulf yelling to them and said that what were they doing weren’t good and he asked the little girl to went home instead of having such a disgusting time with this mindless, desperate bald old guy. Everyone in the entire world knew that in every drinking places or night clubs, there would be some sketchy business being done, be it prostitution or drugs. However, it was more like an open secret that normal people would rather just ignore instead of focusing on other people’s problems, since they already had so much on their plate. Mew included. Therefore, the first time he saw Gulf went into that moral police mode, he learnt the hard way that the younger one would not stopped yelling until the person that he accused to be doing the wrong doings left the place. Mew comes to a conclusion that whenever he had the guts that they would ended up to be drinking at the pub, he would be wearing hoodies or a hat to hide his face when Gulf made a scene. He always put a spare one on his backpack just in case.

“You should stop drinking you know, Gulf,” Mew said after the nth time he ended up dropping off the younger one to his house past midnight. Mew learnt that he should started drive everywhere again and stopped to use public transport because albeit pretty, this boy was far from light in weight. Mew could only handle so much. “You know you’re not a heavy drinker. Don’t your family worry that you always ended up going home at this state?”

Of course Mew only dared to said about this during his drunken state. Should he be sober, Gulf would make another scene even if it was in front of his parent’s house. The drunken Gulf could only glared at him so fiercely without any actual bite. Mew patiently waited until he dragged his own body outside the car and make sure that the younger one would be locked inside his house safely before he drove back to his own house.

Also, Mew found out that dealing with the pretty boy would consisted of his sudden disappearance without no reason and his comeback that always happened so suddenly and he always acted as if nothing was happening. He never told the reason why he was gone, and Mew would never bothered to asked. The first time when he disappear, of course he would be confused, he never replied to Mew’s text and calls either. And after a month of his disappearance, Mew decided to stop caring and back to his life before Gulf. Maybe this was the blessing from the God so that he could live his life normally again.

He took extra credits at his campus, and decided to take that assisting job that his professor offered to him. He also tutored the first grades whenever he had time. As he finished the lesson today and wanted to go to the student’s body meeting afterwards, he was startled when one of the student stopped him. Mew always trying hard to make time whenever a student asked something that they didn’t understand from their previous lesson afterwards. The thing that he didn’t expected, was the fact that the star of the faculty actually confessing at him, instead of asking something regarding the lesson. It has been a while since someone actually confessing at him, though he didn’t know if he had enough time to date these days... and just when he still thinking about what kind of answer that he wanted to be given to her, suddenly he heard a voice that he never heard in a while.

_“He already got a boyfriend, don’t you know that?”_

Mew slowly glanced into his right side, eyeing Gulf who was wearing his intimidating look at the girl. He dressed more proper than most of the days, wearing a navy buttoned up and skinny black jeans that accentuate his long legs and wear his hair effortlessly tousled today. Mew had a long list of questions for him, but he realized that they were not alone until the girl’s high pitch voice being heard.

“I— I’m sorry?” She was trying to smile so sweetly. “I don’t think that P’Mew date anyone...”

“Just because he never announce it to the world, doesn’t mean that he’s single, you know,” Gulf tilted his head and glared at her intimidatingly. “Please know your place.”

“I...,” She gasped and awkwardly looking back and forth to Mew and Gulf’s face. Mew could only smile at her apologetically. She then lowered down his face embarrassedly and _wai_ both of them before she excused herself from the two of them. After Mew saw that she already went out of sight, he turned back to looked at Gulf’s eyes, chuckled amusedly.

“What are you laughing for?” The younger one asked annoyedly.

“No _‘hello’? ‘Hi’?”_ Mew asked patiently, smiling tiredly. “So, now I couldn’t date anyone?”

“You have me, why would you be dating other people?” He scoffed and folded his arms.

Mew raised his eyes. He had a lot of questions on his mind, like, since when they actually date each other? Or the fact that he remembered that the younger one used to say that he never consider himself to date Mew back then. But he decided to shrugged it off and instead asked, “What’s the occasion? You’re not used to wear this kind of clothings.”

“Today is my birthday,” He plainly replied.

“Oh,” Mew replied plainly. “Happy birthday,” He didn’t know what to say other than that, especially with the fact that he never consider them as friends before, let alone lovers. “Well, I have an important meeting in 10 minutes, so...” He smiled to Gulf and walked to the student council’s office way, perfectly aware that the younger one followed him closely. Mew just glad enough that he didn’t forced him to bailed on another meeting like in the past. As he arrived at the council office, he asked the pretty boy to wait for him outside a bit because the meeting would only be around an hour at maximum. Mew clearly couldn’t be totally focused on the meeting, but him being him, as the leader of the student council, he lead the meeting perfectly like usual, anyway. After they finished discussing the campus event that would be held sometime later, Mew went outside as soon as the meeting ended, but of course Boom and Singto had to followed him curiously.

“Why are you being in hurry, Mew?” Boom eyeing him with suspicion.

“P’Mew, what are you— _Oh, hi!”_ Singto startled the moment Gulf came to their vision. He showed a neutral expression that made Mew low-key nervous. Neutral Gulf was an unpredictable one. He totally couldn’t guess what would come afterwards. Despite his countless visit to Chula, he never met Mew’s friends before, and he didn’t know what to expect at this encounter.

“Hello, I’m Singto, you’re here with Mew?” He offered his hand to be shaken with Gulf. Singto always been the most welcome and friendly one to anyone. Mew sure he knew almost everyone in the campus. To much of Mew’s surprise, Gulf answered him easily in the same friendly manner. This was probably the first time be saw the younger one to appeared so sweetly to anyone, except to probably the lady who sold pad krapao at the food stalls. Well, come to think of it he only appeared so stubborn and harsh only to himself...

“Hello, P’Singto, thank you for taking care of P’Mew,” Gulf replied politely with a smile.

“Mew? You never told us that you’ve got yourself a boyfriend?” Boom curiously nudged his side, snickered.

“I— uh,” Mew didn’t know what to replied. The fact that Gulf initially helped him to reject a girl and said that he couldn’t date anyone didn’t make them officially dating each other, right? Especially when the younger one said that he didn’t want to date him back in the day. Also—

“P’Mew must be shy, it’s been a while since he date anyone, right?” Gulf smiled prettily, his eyes crinkled and Mew blinked his eyes at the statement. Wait— _what?_ “But, anyway,” Gulf suddenly linked his arm to Mew’s. “Today is my birthday and I want to spend it with P’Mew,” He leaned his head to Mew’s shoulder and made his friends coughed awkwardly.

“Ah— _oh_ , happy birthday, Gulf, wishing you have a great birthday ahead,” Singto nodded his head quickly.

“Happy birthday once again, sorry to keep you guys around,” Boom smile a bit and quickly dragged himself and Singto out of their sight.

What surprised Mew even further, was the fact that Gulf didn’t let go of his arms and pulled him to the parking lot where he used to park his car. To say that Mew was confused was definitely an understatement. What the hell, so now they were actually dating each other? What about his ex? Was he already moved on yet? Or Gulf just said it for the sake of avoiding Boom and Singto from their mischievous act? He stared at Gulf confusedly before he started the car, which only got a raised of an eyebrow from the younger one, “What are you waiting for? Let’s go, I want to buy a pair of new football shoes. I will have a match with my high school friends later, you should cheer for me.”

Mew decided that _nah,_ he won’t go as far as asking for what was actually going on to the younger one. He might explained it by himself sometime later anyway in the most random time. He shrugged and drive off out of the campus as Gulf played his favorite rapper’s song on the speaker, clearly already went way too familiar with Mew’s car.

“P’Golf would be having a concert next weekend,” He said it so abruptly Mew went confused who the hell is P’Golf until he looked at the lcd screen of his car’s sound system — right, it was the rapper’s name.

“You will be going then?”

“Nah, I’m not a concert person. I’ve never been to one except for some events in the campus,” The younger one opened the car’s window and rest his head to feel the breeze outside.

“Uh, why? But you’re really like him, right? Why don’t you try to go next weekend? You might be surprised at how fun a concert turned out to be.”

“Why are you snooping around me?”

“Right... sorry,” Having to converse with the younger one for a few months made him realized that ‘sorry’ was one of his favorite words to be heard. Mew then thinking a bit. He never knew that there was someone around their age that never been to concert. He remembered that one of his students said that he wanted to go to that concert on weekend. He would try to ask him how to buy it, though. Birthday present for Gulf, right? Even if Mew wouldn’t hope that the younger one would be grateful even if he surprised the pretty boy with the concert ticket.... but well, let’s just counted it as his return present and birthday present.

After they arrived at the sport shoes store and Mew waiting for Gulf to try dozens of shoes that he ended up choosing one that his favorite football player wore at his latest match, Mew didn’t feel surprised, though, when the younger one ended up asking him to paid for the shoes. Well... that was just Gulf being Gulf. Mew always loved to pampered his loved one, though, even if Mew never sure of what kind of relationship that they actually have. But, well... he didn’t really mind. He realized that after he was gone for weeks without any news, he indeed missing the younger one’s presence.

Although when he watched Gulf having his sparing match with his high school friend.... Mew sometimes feels like he’s been taking care of his baby brother or his nephews. Mew barely date a guy and when he does, they usually never really into sports like Gulf, so it still feels foreign to him. Mew himself never really into football though he knows the basics and how the game works, but he never really been a fan of it like Gulf’s. He watched the match with the attitude of people watching. He just silently trying to figured out Gulf’s high school friends. The reason why they clicked so much, even after years of their graduation from high school, and he wondered how Gulf spent his high school years. He sometimes slipped one or two things from his childhood days, but he never revealed much. Mew never really pushed the younger one to spilled any kind of details to him, either. Mew just waited. Patiently waiting. He never thought that he was this good at waiting and being patient before he met Gulf.

Suddenly he felt that Gulf eyeing him sharply from a far. Right, he lost the match from the first quarters. He looked utterly grumbly and displeased, which Mew realized the whole reason why he ended up here. _Right,_ he should be cheering for him. Mew tried hard to scream his cheer to Gulf’s way, but the latter still just frowned so hard and pouting his mouth in annoyance. Mew trying hard to hold his chuckle because sometimes sulking Gulf looked so cute, but he will get another snapped of words from the younger one if he said so. As he cheered, he realized that his friends eyeing Mew curiously because Gulf never introduced them to each other before.

The thing that he never expected, though, after the match was done and Gulf already had a quick shower and change into a fresh clothes, he was surprised that the younger one suddenly plopped down to his side and leaned his head on Mew’s shoulder — clearly still pouting because his team was lost.

“Do you want me to buy something to eat? Pad krapaow like usual?” Mew asked carefully, intuitively caressing his hair.

“No, I’m not hungry.”

“Gulf, you haven’t been eating since lunch....”

“Stop acting like my mom.”

“Fine,” Mew sighed tiredly. “Do you want to drop you off to your house or do you want to accompany me to eat my dinner?”

“Can’t you just takeaway your dinner and dropped me off home?”

Mew chuckled amusedly and agree to him easily because he didn’t plan to eat his dinner only to having the younger one watching him to eat. Though Mew unconsciously buying him takeaway dinner, anyway. He might scolded him later, but Mew just want to make sure that he had a spare meal just in case he will be hungry later at night. He then dropped him off to his house at 9pm, and Gulf just sighed when they arrived, reluctantly removing his seat belt.

“What’s wrong? Are you still thinking about the match?” Mew carefully asked.

“No, I will sleep it off. It’s just — it’s my birthday. Birthdays supposed to be a good day for me, right?” He shoved his own hair out of his sight with a grumble.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you much even if I’m here all day with you...,” Mew replied guiltily.

“It’s not your fault. It’s just not something that I expected,” He heaved another sigh.

“Do you not want to go back home yet? Want to go somewhere else to ease your mind?”

“No, I just want to sleep it off. Sleeping worked the best for me.”

Mew nodded understandingly, waiting for the younger one to went out the car, though he barely made any move at all. He slowly turned to Mew and looked at him rather strangely. Mew just raised his eyebrows in question, clearly didn’t expect what would be coming from the younger one’s mouth the next moment.

“Kiss me.”

“Huh?”

“Please don’t make me asked it for the second time,” He clicked his tongue annoyedly and reached for Mew’s collar and kissed him without much preamble. Mew could taste the taste of mint chewing gum that Gulf been chewing nervously after the match as he let the younger one exploring his mouth. When the kisses started to turned more desperate as Mew decided to turned the lead and reached for Gulf’s hair slowly, his elbow unconsciously pressing the car horn and make a loud sound, which made them instinctively separated from each other. Still trying to process what was currently happening, Mew watched Gulf’s ears turned red and went out from the car immediately, trying to acted as if nothing was happening. When Mew reached for his hand and said a final ‘happy birthday’, he just grunted and nodded briefly though Mew could see that his ears still appeared red.

As he watching the younger one quietly went inside the house — Mew decided that — okay, whatever happening between them was nice. If the younger one decided that they already date each other, then that was nice, too.

And everything went so fast and yet so slow every time Gulf suddenly went missing for some reason again. However, Mew already used to it, to see him come and go like that. Because Mew knew, at the end of the day, he will come back to find him, anyway. And the time slipped into a blink of an eye — Mew didn’t realized that it has been a year since they’ve met each other.

“Phi, you do realized that next week would be our one year anniversary, right?”

“Huh, it’s been a year already?” Mew startled as he reminiscing the days where they first met each other to the time where the younger one declared that they already dated each other.

Gulf just rolled his eyes annoyedly with the fact that the older one didn’t even remember and asked him, “When do you think someone looked the prettiest?”

“Huh?” Mew confused at the sudden change of topics. He rested his back and pondered a bit. “I.... whenever I saw my first celebrity crush playing Pachelbel’s Canon so beautifully when I was a child.... I always dreamt to see my lovers playing one for me one day.”

“Really?” Gulf hummed the familiar song that Mew mentioned before. _“That_ song?”

“Yeah, that one,” Mew chuckled. “But none of my exes could play piano or any musical instruments back then, so it was just a mere, hopeless dream, I guess?”

Gulf nodded briefly, and suddenly give his own opinion, “I considered someone to be looked at their best when they brought me my favorite flowers at my class, when the class still going on, surprising my teacher and my friends.”

Mew blinked, looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “Your favorite flowers? At your ongoing class? In front of your teacher and your friends?”

“Yeah, and I expect you to do exactly that next week,” Gulf smirked and stood up on his feet abruptly. “Well, then, see you next week,” He turned back and gave Mew a last wave of goodbye before he went to the entrance gate of the campus’s way.

As Mew looked from Gulf’s back slowly disappearing from his sight as he walked farther and farther, he tried hard to process the younger one’s wish. Favorite flowers. At his class in front of his teacher and friends. The thing is, decoding Gulf’s words were, more often than not, were never been easy. He pondered a bit, thinking if the pretty boy ever mentioned his favorite flower to him. Mew didn’t think he ever shared anything about flowers. It was like... it was far from the younger one’s interest. Especially when he never liked it when Mew treated him so dainty like a princess. Though Mew could recalled the time where he ever told him that Gulf reminded him of sunflowers when he smile, which only made him sulked and gave Mew his smile even more rarely. “Don’t you dare compare me to flowers ever again, do you think that I’m that frail?!” Mew recalled faintly.

But well — Mew could guess his favorite flowers based on some things in the past, though he couldn’t be 100% sure, either. Well, at least he tried, right? Not that he couldn’t handle Gulf shenanigans when he felt displease when Mew gave him the wrong kind of flowers.

The said first year anniversary date finally came. Mew decided to come with a bouquet of sunflower — again, fight him, it was the only flower that he remembered that he ever discussed with the younger one — and some of other flowers that he choose simply because he liked the meaning like blue delphinium which convey loyal love, hope and cherished friendship and yellow daffodil which having a symbolic meaning of a new beginnings, and white limonium statice which means ‘I miss you’, simply because they haven’t met at all from the following week. And for those days where Gulf suddenly went missing without no reason. Well, just Mew Suppasit being his sappy self like usual. Besides all of those meanings, the flower arrangement also looked pretty with all of the chosen flowers, Mew pretty proud of himself, he wished Gulf would ended up loving it too.

The last time they texted each other, Gulf told him that he should come to his 2pm theatre history class at the seminar room. Well, he wasn’t entirely surprise with the fact that he asked him to come to such a big class at the seminar room. Knowing the younger one, the bigger crowd that being their audience of their sappy plan, was more fun to him. Especially when he couldn’t wait watching Mew humiliate himself by coming to his university and suddenly made a ‘proposal’ scene there like he was actually asking Gulf to marry him while in fact it was just their first anniversary. Well...

Mew felt the gaze from other students who whispering to each other why was he bring such a big bouquet when there was clearly no any graduation or special event being held today, and Mew just chuckled to himself. Well, the things that he would do to younger one. Mew himself never been someone who backed out from challenges, let alone from a love declaration like this because, then again, he was such a hopeless romantic inside. He never mind to do these kind of grandeur confession once in a while.

When he finally arrived at the seminar class door, he took a much needed deep breath. Gulf would be there, right? He won’t be bailed out within last minutes simply because he wanted Mew to humiliate himself even further, right?

After he took a long time to calm himself, he quietly opened the class room’s door, which made all of the student’s and the teacher’s head turned to him curiously because the door creaked loudly. Mew could only gave them a tight smile and quietly walking down the stairs to search for the cheeky guy that requested him to do this, screening through the many faces of the student with no avail, he was scared that Gulf indeed playing another tricks on him — until he heard the familiar sounds from the stage where the teacher standing up near the piano.

Mew gulped down nervously as he continue to walking down the stairs, wanted to make sure that his eyes didn’t fail him — didn’t make such a hallucination at this hour because — he _never_ knew that.... Gulf... could actually play a classical piano...? The Pachelbel’s Canon nonetheless...? The song that he always wished his partner could play for him from his childhood dream....?

His breath hitched when Gulf reached to his favorite bridge part smoothly and effortlessly. He was this close to tears when Gulf suddenly stopped his play at some point and turned to him, his eyes expecting Mew to gave him the flowers of bouquet, which turned his eyes crescent and his smile blooming prettily. With the sounds of Pachelbel’s Canon still continue to playing on his head as if it was a scene from movie, Mew questioning himself if it was even real? Was Gulf was even real? Was he ever deserved to found this pretty boy who’s on Mew’s tinted glasses were perfect for him in any way?

As they smiled to each other sheepishly as if the world was made only for them, they didn’t realized at how all of the classes cheered for them loudly and low key jealous of what they have for each other.

However, who would’ve thought at the end of the day, suddenly Mew would be sitting at the Traipipattanapong’s house, across of Gulf’s parents? He gulped nervously because earlier, Gulf’s dad nearly caught them when they almost kissed right inside Mew’s car. Of course, Mew Suppasit and his bad timings. He himself would never be surprised.

At the cold atmosphere that feels very, very long, suddenly Gulf’s dad coughed lightly, which ended up making all eyes focusing at him. Gulf’s Khun Phor asked him basic questions when someone’s visiting their partner’s parents for the first time — who was he actually, his family’s background, where he was studying, and all that jazz. Mew was someone that usually had a good first impression to other people, since he was good at conversing with new people. And almost all of his ex’s parents and also his friend’s parents loved him. He was that someone that would be asked from his ex’s parents for his whereabouts even if they already ended the relationship. Therefore he was a bit surprised — with the fact that even after he politely introduce himself and answered every bits of question from Gulf’s parents, he still could feel unwelcomed. Even after Mew politely excusing himself from the house, he still could feel it — especially when he could see Gulf appeared so uneasy beside his parents, constantly looking at his own palms, ignoring his stares.

And as if he needed to heard it in order to be confirmed with his gut feelings — Mew could heard it when he unlocked his car outside the Traipipattanapong’s house — the fact that Gulf yelling at his parents, how he didn’t care if their parents never approved Mew for some reason.

Mew laughed bitterly the following days when it happened again — Gulf missing without any news — except now he could kinda guess what was the reason behind his absence.

_Why it feels like he could never see him again?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh the angsty part already starting (ノ_<、) i know this story was supposed to be read in one go because there is a lot of surprising twist but.... real life happened and i couldn’t finish it in one long shot at the moment, so sorry for the cliffhangers! 
> 
> anyway i feel so happy at mg updated couple work schedule like finally!! i’ve been missing them too much 😭😭
> 
> comments, kudos, and thoughts are appreciated! (◕‿◕)♡


	3. If it really was fate.

It has been 2 months, exactly 61 days since Mew last seen Gulf. Yeah, Mew freaking counted. He asked himself, should he waited like before? Or should he live his life like usual?

Nevertheless, as much as he was trying hard to live his life as usual... studying, teaching as tutors and assisting his professors — it still felt like he lost a big chunk of his life. Even if he didn’t want to admit that, even his closest friends like Boom and Singto would seen that. However it wasn’t like he could do much. For Mew — a family’s blessings was important. When he realized that he won’t stand a chance because Gulf’s parents didn’t approved of him... as much as he wanted to stand by the younger one’s side.... he would simply just let it go.

It wasn’t like this was his first time to get his heart broken, right?

He would be moving on eventually.

He would be able to forget Gulf eventually, right?

_Right?_

That was why he was lost at words when he showed up again and acted as if nothing happened. As if that absence never happened. Like per usual.

Mew couldn’t decided if he wanted to be angry or to cry. However he just ended up showing a straight face and followed the younger one like nothing was happening. Like per usual.

And they acted like everything was like usual, where Mew just simply followed everything that Gulf’s wishes. Mew even ended up brought him to Gulf’s favorite rapper concert, which even though he appeared sulky at first, because unlike Mew, Gulf was never a fan of surprises, Mew could see how the pretty boy couldn’t contain his happiness to watched the concert, anyway.

They went to the hill a couple of weeks after they first met, and when Gulf asked him to go there once again, Mew wouldn’t hesitate to drive off his car there. As Mew watched Gulf rested his head on the grass up on the hills that the younger one’s love, looking peacefully at the sky, he never expected the next thing that would come out from the younger one’s mouth.

Well, he should’ve expected it, though. Especially with the fact that he decided to ignore the thing regarding Gulf’s parents. Or his ex. Or whatever it was that made the younger one constantly disappear some time or another. However, more often than not, he just decided to stopped thinking about those things and slipped it into the farthest corner of his head.

However, when he heard Gulf said it... he thought that he’d better believed on those gut feelings, anyway.

“My parents asked me to go to meet the person that they deemed suitable for me this weekend,” Gulf said lightly as he still looking at the clear, bright sky.

_Mew Suppasit, just how much time you let your heart broken over and over again from the same person?_

Mew was just smiling tightly, and unconsciously released a shaky breath.

“You should come, though, you should also decide if that person indeed suitable for me or not,” He looked at Mew with innocent eyes.

Mew gulped down bitterly and trying to let out a light chuckle, “Is that so?”

“Yeah, you should,” Gulf nodded and looked at him cheekily, as if he didn’t just broke Mew’s heart. _“You_ , out of all people would know if someone would be perfect for me or not.”

Mew staring at his face with a blearing eyes. He didn’t know if he would be able to held all of those hurtful feelings any longer. Therefore he was just staying silent. He still staying silent and just gave a brief nodded to the younger one if it was needed, and right after he dropped Gulf to his house, he decided to pulled over on some random side road on his way to his house and repeatedly bumped his head to the steering wheel, and leaned back, laughed bitterly to himself.

Let’s just say that it was Mew’s way of moving on, but he decided to stopped caring from that point onwards. He decided to stopped replying to his text, he decided to avoided the place that Gulf usually would found him at the campus, and he decided to made himself busy with his research study, tutoring his juniors, and spent most of his time in the lab. He even avoided his own friends at that point, because they never been good with keeping secrets.

However, as Sunday finally came, he blinked his eyes tiredly at his phone and read the message that Gulf left for him last night. The time and place of his blind date. He read it over and over again and turning off his phone altogether. It was so unlike him, but he decided to just spent his Sunday to sleep all day today. However, as he saw the sky turned even darker outside the window, Mew decided to changed quickly and quickly went down the stairs, just replied briefly when his mom asked him confusedly why he was such in hurry. Call him insane, but Mew himself considered himself to be one when he arrived at the restaurant where Gulf texted him. He decided to took subway today. Because he knew that he would be needed to walk alone to home later. He didn’t believe his ability to drive safely back to home later.

He could see how Gulf’s eyes turned to him gleefully when the waitress showed him the way, “P’Mew, you’re here! I knew that you would come!”

Mew just smiled tightly to him and the pretty girl who took a seat in front of him self. Well, okay, Mew could kinda guess on the reason why the Traipipattanapong’s never approved of him dating Gulf.

“Phi, you should take a seat!” Gulf stood up so suddenly and offered Mew to seat at the chair that he took earlier. As he watched Mew to took a seat, he introduce Mew to the girl, and Gulf being Gulf, he excused himself to the toilet and said that Mew should talk to the girl together. Mew just heaved a heavy breath that he didn’t realized held earlier. He stared at the girl’s eyes who looked at Mew curiously, waiting to hear his explanation on why he would be here tonight. In the grandeur, Michelin star restaurant where Mew clearly looked out of place today.

Gulf washed his hand and dried it up before he went out of the toilet gleefully. He knew, _he knew_ that P’Mew would come today. He could already imagine at how he would ruined today’s blind date dinner — he couldn’t wait seeing his parent’s face when the girl that they set up for him ended up running to her home with a cry upon her face —

“Uh, where is P’Mew?” He confusedly staring at the empty chair that previously was taken by P’Mew.

“He left,” The girl smiled to him, way too cheery for his taste. He took the seat, still feeling confused.

“What.... he didn’t say anything earlier..?” Gulf frowned to the girl confusedly.

“Ah, he said several things before he left,” He girl continue to smiling to him. “He gave me a lot of tips on how to deal with you.”

As Gulf continue to staring up to him confusedly, the girl continue to speak, “He told me that you’re such a difficult person to be dealt with. You would suddenly asked for the most random things at the most random timings, and he said that I should be extra patient to be dealing with you. You would usually asked to do that because you hate to face your own sadness alone and usually distract yourself with those mischief wishes.”

“He said that you have a reason on why you always seems to be such a brat because you are very sweet deep inside. Therefore, to see your sweet side, I have to be patient with you. You also needed someone to leaned on, especially when you had a bad day, or when you simply lost your soccer match. Ah, he also told me that you’re a huge fan of soccer, especially that soccer team from London... and you would be happy to received any kind of gifts from that team’s merchs.”

“He also told me that you might be would be missing in action from time to time — probably to taking care of your past, or your feelings... therefore I should be waiting for you patiently, because you will be back eventually...”

Gulf abruptly running off to the subway station because the girl said that P’Mew needed to catch the last train as the things the girl was saying keep playing over and over again on his head — except that on his head, it was replaced with P’Mew’s voice.

_“Gulf was such a light drinker, therefore if you guys happened to drink together, please don’t drink. You need to drive him back home later. Also, he was such a moral police when he drunk, therefore, please choose the farthest table and bring a hoodie for yourself, don’t try to stop him because you won’t be able to. He sometimes would be a crying mess when he was super drunk, so please don't forget to bring your handkerchief," He could imagine P'Mew let out a small chuckled at this point._

_“He also would have some ridiculous wishes when you guys on anniversary. Please put up with his wishes even if it was an embarrassing one, because he would be showing such a lovely smile for you afterwards.”_

_“Ah, he loved that rapper so much. Nevertheless, even if rap isn’t your favorite genre, please bring him to his favorite rapper’s concert time to time. He might be always saying that he hate concert, but he would never stopped smiling whenever he attended it.”_

_“Just.... don’t stop — never stop trying to figure out him, okay? He might be looked difficult — he might be always embarrassed you time to time because of his mischief... but he will told you why later. Maybe not now.... maybe not in the nearest time... but he will. Because he had his reasons. And you should always be with him when he felt the most vulnerable. Don’t ever stop trying, don’t ever leave him, okay?”_

Gulf didn’t realized how much his face was a mess with drying tears when he running down the station's stairs quickly, trying to find a glimpse of P’Mew. _Was he already left yet? Was he way too late? What— what was he thinking? What if he would never see the older one again? What if— he already moved on and accepting those confessions from his students...? What if Gulf would lost the person that — without his realization — actually understand him the most even if Gulf never actually explained to him anything and always left him in the dark?_

His cheeks started to went wet again as Gulf desperately trying to scanned every people on the station. He bite his lips worriedly and looked through his left and right quickly. Was he truly late this time around?

He quickly running through the station’s security room — he knew that he could search for lost person there. However, as his lips wouldn’t be able to explained it clearly to the security staffs that was surprised at Gulf’s abrupt’s appearance, Gulf walked through the staffs, ignoring them as he watched every security monitors that showing the real time CCTV situation at the station — searching for P’Mew’s shadow. He unconsciously grabbed through the security’s announcement microphone and screaming P’Mew’s name desperately, asking where was he and asked him to come to him right at this second.

He released a sighed when he looked at the clock. It was been 10 minutes and still no sign of P’Mew. He squatted down to rest his face on his knees tiredly, ignoring the staffs’ confusion and their request to left the security room, until he heard the familiar voice.

_“Gulf, what are you doing here?”_

He looked up tiredly and stood up immediately when he recognize the face that he’s been searching all night. He desperately clinged his arms to Mew’s neck as he desperately asked him not to left him ever again, ignoring the fact that the entire room staring at them awkwardly.

As much as Mew wanted to agreeing to him, he also wanted to ask: _will the younger one do the same for him?_

Although Gulf — _again_ — appeared to acted like nothing was wrong, Mew couldn’t help but noticing Gulf’s endless avoidance when it comes to solving his own problems. Mew almost feels like he was in the bridge of his own limit for being patient. Although sometimes he took a pride of how much he being patient with the younger one. No, Mew wasn’t angry nor mad to Gulf. It was more like he was worried. Because someone couldn’t avoided things forever, right? At the end of the day, you should have faced and solved your own problems.

Therefore, Mew finally asked something that he considered to be his most selfish things during their relationship.

_“You should stop, you know.”_

He saw Gulf silently watching Bangkok from up the hills, letting the wind softly breeze through his hair before he turned to him in question, “Stop what?”

“Stop acting like everything is fine,” Mew locked his eyes to the younger one deeply, making sure so Gulf would get his point. He thought Gulf would laughed it off, or make another remarks at how Mew shouldn’t act like his mother. His eyes turning a bit sad before he turned his gaze back to the sceneries of Bangkok.

“But.... what if we couldn’t met each other anymore...?” He asked it in a small voice, more to himself rather than to answer Mew’s question. He then tucked his chin on top of his folded legs, continue to staring at the city down below under his grown out bangs. Mew reached out to put his flailed out hair back into the place softly as he felt the younger one heaved a sigh.

Mew could felt that the question that he haven’t asked yet, which was, _“What’s the worse that could happened, anyway?”_ were answered by a pessimistic, _“Everything. Everything could went wrong.”_

Mew then decided to waited for Gulf to explained himself instead of pushing him even further. Silently watching him staring at the city with tired face, like a silent plea of not wanting to discussed things about himself even further. When the sun started to set, the younger one abruptly stand up and looked up at the tree solemnly.

“Let’s bury a time capsule here,” He turned to Mew with his usual twinkle eyes.

“Time capsule?”

“Yeah, let’s do it next week. We would write letter for each other and open it two years later.”

“Should we?” Mew chuckled tiredly, clearly couldn’t read what was in the younger’s mind this time around.

“Yeah, we should,” He asked Mew with such a serious face Mew didn’t have the heart to rejected him.

They made their promise to bury the time capsule by the next week. What Mew never expected, was the fact Gulf would asking them to stopped meeting each other until the time they would open the time capsule come. A series of _‘how’, ‘why’_ and _‘what’_ been running through Mew’s mind until Gulf explained to him in a small voice, avoiding his gaze, “I.... think it would be the best of we made the time off of each other, as we figuring out ourselves. As we finished to taking care the baggage that we had before.” _The problems that I kept avoiding._

“But, two years is a long time,” Mew stared at the younger one longingly.

“I know, right.”

“What if we found other people in the way?”

“If we really meant to be, we would be meeting each other again,” Gulf was trying to smile at him in cheeky way as usual, but Mew couldn’t help but noticing that slight tiredness in the far corner of his eyes.

 _“If we really meant to be,”_ Mew repeated the younger one’s words slowly, trying to digest it well.

“Yeah,” Gulf chuckled lightly.

That day, their kiss tasted like the bitterness of farewell and the slight hopelessness that the fate wouldn’t worked on their way.

Two years passed by both so slowly and so freaking fast. Mew already finished his master study at this point and currently applying for his doctoral studies while he was helping his professor with his research and teaching. He even spent a semester at the States for student exchange. His friends apparently very worried for him, as they been pushing Mew to meet new person. They knew about the two years agreement, yet they never stopped to reminding him that a break is a break, and Gulf himself never really prohibit him to date other people at the time being, but for Mew.... it awkwardly feels like he was cheating.

Knowing that Gulf wasn’t around anymore, his students that been crushing on him didn’t shy to comes forward either, which usually Mew rejected politely because he didn’t want to have any relationship with his students.

As the day reaching forward, Mew really didn’t know what to expect. Half of him of course hoping that Gulf would come, hoping that everything would turned happily ever after. However, a part of him also doubt it. He knew how Gulf was a thunderstorm. Someone that would change his mind in the most random time, without no consideration to other people. Therefore, he also prepared his heart if he wouldn’t come. Gulf was utterly pretty, he could choose anyone that he wanted easily. He wouldn’t be surprised if he won’t appear because he already found someone new, someone more interesting than Mew, someone who even more handsome or prettier, richer and smarter than Mew.

Nevertheless, convincing yourself was an entire different league than facing the reality. Mew gulped down bitterly when he realized that Gulf wasn’t there. As much as he prepared himself for the hurt truth, it wasn’t make it any less hurtful, anyway.

After he was waiting at the tree for a couple of hours and didn’t saw any sign of the younger one, he was trying hard to calm himself down before he pulled his shove to dig up the time capsule. Even if he wouldn’t be coming... Mew at least hope he could find something from the letter. When he finally reached the time capsule, his heart clenched when he still could see his own letter to Gulf. That means he haven’t come at all to this place. Mew took a seat and leaned back at the tree while he trying hard to muster his courage to opened Gulf’s letter that comes with a broken white envelope and simple lined papers.

_P’Mew, how are you?_

_I was so happy while being with you._

_I’m not sure if you knew, but the person that I loved passed away. The day when I first met you, was the day he died a year ago._

_Actually, I tried to look for him in you. I know it was wrong. I’m sorry._

_I also met him on the subway like you. I was really sick at that time, and he lent me his handkerchief, just like what you did to me when I was a crying mess when I was drunk._

_He did everything I wanted. Like you did to me. Including the time he surprised me at my class._

_Under this tree, we planned our future together. I’m sorry I was lying to you that I found this place after I broke up with him. Yeah, this was our place, though it still hold a meaning for both of us, Phi._

_However, he suddenly passed away. While I was dating you, I often met his mother. She wanted to introduce a nice person to me, but I just couldn’t._

_The day I first met you, I came to took a seat under this tree, and I prayed to him..._

_To let me free._

_When I met you, this occurred to me. That maybe.... he introduced you to me. But the more I met you, he seemed to grow jealous of you in me. The more I liked you, the more I felt guilty inside._

_Now that we took time apart of each other... while the two of us are apart, I want to forget him alone. I need to finished my leftover feelings for him first before I could face you._

_If I’m not with you after two years, it means I still lacked of courage. How much will we change after two years, anyway?_

_I feel like you live in the future, and I stay in the past._

_I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there today. I’m sorry that I don’t have enough courage to meet you even after two years._

_Thank you for being with me,_

_G. Kanawut_

A year ago passed by, and Gulf, knowing well he was being such a coward last year to not come at the hills with a tree as they promised to be, ended up coming because he had been missing the place. Missing the tree. Missing the peacefulness that it never fail to gave him. And most of all, he missed P’Mew. Even if he bailed on the promise last year, he still curious on what was the older one wrote for him in the letter. Gulf knew he was being such a jerk. But at least he could hope, right? Still hoping that fate would turned to them even if he only showed such a cowardice act.

As he arrived at the top of the hills, he was surprised that he wasn’t alone. He knew that this place was still a public place, but he rarely met any stranger here. There was this old lady that looked so wise and fragile Gulf even questioned how she could reached the top of the hills.

“As much as I looked weak and old, I’m still strong enough to hike a bit, you know, young man,” The old lady chuckled as if she could read Gulf’s mind.

“I’m sorry, Auntie, I know that you are capable to reach this place alone,” Gulf smile apologetically and took a seat across of her as she leaned her back at the tree. “Do you come here often?”

“Sometimes," She whispered playfully. "This tree has a secret.” 

“I have a secret here, too,” Gulf chuckled as he put his backpack on his lap.

“Really?” The old lady staring at Gulf curiously.

“Three years ago, I buried a letter here with my boyfriend,” He let out a small smile. “What about your secret, Auntie?”

“So what happened?” She ignored Gulf’s question and continue to asking Gulf instead. Gulf just chuckled and continue a bit.

“We promised to read the letters a year ago. But I couldn’t come...”

“So, you’re a year late?” She raised her left eyebrow with a judging face to Gulf. She wasn’t at fault though. Gulf himself realized that he was at the wrong.

“But two years didn’t seem that long...,” He pouted childishly. “I haven’t made any decision yet. I just wasted my time on stupid thoughts.”

“Like what?”

“Like — if we were destined to meet each other, I thought we’d meet by chance somewhere,” He smiled sadly at the old lady.

The lady just smiling at him understandingly and sighed, “You know what fate is? It’s building a bridge of chance for someone you love.” She patted Gulf’s head to comfort him and continue, “To be honest, I read you guys’ letter. I said that this tree had a secret, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Look closely. Does this tree look the same as before?” She looked up at the tree, making Gulf following her movement. Gulf stood up abruptly, trying to inspect the tree even further, but still felt confused.

“Well, it looks like it changed a bit.... but I’m not sure either...” He pondered a bit.

The old lady chuckled lightly, “People are either dead or alive. There’s a dead tree and a living tree, too. This tree was struck dead by lightning last year. It was split in two.” She smiling to Gulf in motherly way and patted his cheek. As she sure that the younger one following her words, she continue, “But this young man felt sorry for it. During this spring, he planted another tree that looked exactly the same. When he planted the tree, he asked me if it look the same. He said that someone would be sad if it died, so no one should know.”

“That guy.... replanted it....?” Gulf asked in disbelief. "Is that even possible?"

The old lady smile understandingly and patting Gulf’s shoulder in assurance. She decided to gave Gulf privacy and left as he opened the time capsule and reading to P’Mew’s letter alone. He carefully read every words and sentence that the older one wrote to him. He close his eyes, trying to seep through the remnants of P’Mew’s handwritten and scents from the letter. Probably already mixed with the scent of soil and grass after buried down there for three years but whatever. Gulf let out a loud sigh and went to the river where his ex’s ashes were being threw out years ago and pray. He pray and pray, and he finally threw out the necklace that he bought for him to the river, so that it could be returned to his ashes.

Gulf felt like a huge burden finally being lifted up from both of his shoulders.

However, as much as he finally realized his own feelings, as much as he wanted to believe on fate, he could only laughed bitterly when Mew wouldn’t picked up the phone nor replied to his text. He sighed shakily and laughed to himself. Just how much he made a fool of himself? Of course these days anyone would change their numbers from time to time. P’Mew included. He didn’t even know where the older one work right now. He must be already graduate from his master study. So Gulf couldn’t find him at Chula as easy as the past times. Especially when Mew wasn’t someone that really into social media. The last time he updated his Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter was a year ago. Just — how could Gulf found him?!

Gulf turned into this person who awfully aware of his surroundings. He would snapped his head immediately if he seen someone that looked similar to Mew. He would turned his eyes when he saw a familiar car, a familiar shadow, especially at those familiar place where they used to went for a date, from subway station to cafés. He could’ve been there, and Gulf wouldn’t let out a chance to missed him ever again.

During those times, Gulf found himself to crying to himself angrily, why he had to bailed on the promise, why he needed to drowned upon a past relationship that he knew didn’t have a chance to go anywhere while he had P’Mew upon his eyes.

After months of not being able to found the older one, Gulf decided to became more kind to himself. He forgive himself more, he try to moved on with his life — for _whatever_ that means. Therefore, when his ex’s mother asked him if he wanted to meet the person that she wanted to introduce to Gulf years ago, Gulf just agreed out of politeness.

Gulf wore a sleek crisp oversized white buttoned down with black jeans that day, and went to the restaurant where she asked him to meet her. Gulf took the subway, just because. Even if he already have his own driving license now, sometimes he just wondered maybe he could’ve bumped into the older one here. Maybe.

As he arrived at the said restaurant, the auntie hugged him in fondness, “N’Gulf, how are you, darling? It’s been a while, you’ve gotten prettier.” She patted Gulf’s cheeks fondly.

“You also look young and beautiful as always, Auntie,” Gulf smiled politely.

"I’ve heard that you wanted to go for exchange to the States?”

“Yeah, Auntie, I already finished my study and currently waiting for the graduation that would be happening next year, Mae said that I should try to took that student exchange program in the mean time since it would looked good on my resumé...” Gulf nodded his head more to himself. “Also... I think I already spent enough time to forget him...” He smiled weakly.

His ex’s mom heaved a shaky breath and smile. It must be hard for her too. “I see. Do you feel better?”

“Yes. A lot better,” Gulf smiled more with more sincerity.

“Are you telling the truth this time?” The middle age lady smiled at him playfully. “My son might be sad.”

“He won’t,” Gulf chuckled sadly. “He’ll like it this way.”

The auntie nodded to herself and turned his gaze up to Gulf understandingly, “Good. That’s what I really hoped.”

“Auntie, I’m sorry I’m late, I was renewing my passport earlier,” A familiar low voice being heard, making Gulf blinked his eyes repeatedly.

His ex’s mother stood up to patted through the tall guy’s cheeks as if he was a baby and coo-ed him, “Aow, my lovely nephew, how could you’re being late??? How long it has been since we met, Nong??”

Gulf gulped down nervously and stealing a glance a bit, still blinking his eyes, wouldn’t believe what he was seeing right now.

“Ah, Gulf, I’m sorry that I haven’t introduce you guys before...,” The Auntie chuckled and turned her head to Gulf. “This is Mew. Doesn’t he resemble him? When you had a hard time, I tried to introduce you to him for several years, but he kept getting out of it.”

Gulf could feel his eyes went glassy when the person that he’s been searching for — _he’s been longing for_ — took a seat beside him.

“Go out with him, I thought he’d make things easy for you,” The Auntie continue. “Gulf, you would be going to he States, right? You could ask some tips from Mew, he spent sometime there for student exchange, and he just come back here last year.”

They turned their head to looked into each other for the first time after years and years, and Gulf could feel his voice went a bit shaky, “I.... don’t have to go there any longer, Auntie....”

The middle age lady went confused because both of the young guys in front her couldn’t stopped seeing at each other’s eyes and smiling to each other.

“Why? You two know each other?”

“You may not believe it, but I think I met a man from the future,” Gulf trying hard to hold his smile and bite his lower lips as he felt P’Mew entwined their hands together discreetly below the table as Gulf could hear P’Mew’s favorite Pachelbel’s Canon being heard in the restaurant as if it was their soundtrack for life. Gulf been missing it — _he’s been missing the warmth of his hand, his dark brown orbs, his smile_ — he missed everything about the man in front of him. “From your future.”

That was how they met each other again. Do you think that it was too coincidental?

It was like building a bridge of chance for your someone that you love.

It _was_ fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on a side note, i cried everytime i watched the actual movie. and i already watched it for 10 times i guess. and i cried again when i try to write the ending part because the letter and the conversation are so beautiful, heartbreaking, and meaningful i don't want it to change it much from the original movie. and so, i hope that i could convey how brilliant the movie is through this story!! :")
> 
> let me know your thoughts <3


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